so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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