Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's like iHOP with fire
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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