Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
