Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize