im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize