You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
