The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
