He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
