We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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