I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize