your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
