it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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