Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
