how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
