Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
it glows. i had to have it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
