he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
