put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He did a backflip because drugs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
