My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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