another moral hangover. fuck.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
