stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
