who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what day is it and did you see me today?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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