Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
