I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
