if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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