i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
