That's intense
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
