Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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