i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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