Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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