Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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