I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
