YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
