i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
