i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
