His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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