First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Shame - the story of my life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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