and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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