I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
