OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
