Define "chronic" masturbator.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
