Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
