its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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