Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
