I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you never un-have a 4some
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
