smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My liver just broke up with me...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
