Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
