I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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