In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize