I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
