There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
