you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
