then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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