I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
