therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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