My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
