covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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