I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
