is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
