Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize