The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
